Happiness is?
I don't just mean how you look, although this is probably what most of us judge ourselves on.. I mean, are you happy with everything you've created, worked for or manifested in your life right now.. Your career and lifestyle choices, or doing your bit for the environment to create a better world for your children. New Year is the time when we tend to focus attention and intentions on the above. We promise ourselves once and for all to get rid of those habits that no longer serve us emotionally or physically, but however, sadly by the end of the month these good intentions have either been binned or forgotten, until next new year. The question we have to ask is, were the resolutions too difficult, unrealistic, not enjoyable, not enough willpower, or maybe you simply couldn't be bothered?
There's no point in making promises to yourself if they are based only on willpower alone. Willpower will see you through short term goals, will get you through a day without having a cup of coffee, not spending unnecessary money, cutting out sugar or having a glass of wine, it won't however, get you through the next week, month or year, for that you need to change your mindset, if you want to achieve success in areas you feel are difficult.
Another thing is, trying to implement too many changes all at once. Instead, write a list in order of priority, then work through, one at a time. The wise ones say you have to repeat something for 21 days before it becomes a habit.
What's the first thing on your self improvement list?
The first step I think is to get really involved in your goal by researching why you should change this habit and what benefits you'll get from it. For example I'm on a zero sugar journey (not a diet) it's something I always subscribed to, because I knew how bad sugar in it's pure form is for us. Anyone who followed my day to day antics on my Natural Alternative Solutions group will remember this, as well as the Six week health and weight loss challenge. However, after moving home from the Middle East bubble, then COVID and I suppose, life in general, I just became complacent about how much sugar I was actually consuming in everyday convenience ingredients that I would add to cooking, the odd cake or pastry, here and there, tinned, pre packed and even frozen foods. Sugar is everywhere! I was putting on weight, despite walking everyday, regularly going to the gym and cutting down on calories!! I was suffering with extreme back pain, brain fog and now suddenly my waist was expanding. Sorry.. I'm not accepting it's just my age! Absolutely NO WAY! My hormones were all over the place and this was impacting on my waistline .. then the lightbulb moment switched on, it had to be SUGAR! My mindset immediately changed, no way was this unnecessary ingredient going to rule and ruin my life!
Does this resonate with you and do you see why willpower alone isn't enough?
Being told you just to stop or begin doing something because its 'bad or good for you', isn't enough to motivate change your way of life.
The second step is to fall in love with your unique wonderful self, all over again with fresh eyes, as if you had just met YOU for the first time! This isn't being arrogant or conceited, it's about self care and maybe you've been taking yourself for granted for far too long. Self care isn't just about retail therapy, having a glass of wine every time you're stressed out or binge watching tv every night of the week, these things have their place, but are you using them to fill up your time, instead of fulfilling it. When did this apathy towards ourselves begin, we weren't born with self doubt , we were born content, happy and full of wonder. Sadly as we grow up, the seeds of self doubt begin to grow because of external cruel words. Those who are harshly judged tend to turn on others, especially those who they believe, have it all.. and so the cycle begins. Self doubt is a learned behaviour that we can unlearn, one step at a time. Self love is making the most of the true, beautiful individual you are, which is why I ask, are you happy with what you've created, worked for or manifested. If not, then what's actually holding you back and when did you stop believing you could!, can you recall the first time you compared yourself with someone else? It's like one day you're a happy, carefree little person, and because of cruel words, the next day you are questioning everything about yourself!
I think self love is about how you nourish yourself, both inside and out. Eating to improve your health which includes weight loss, if that's your goal. Instead of binging on box sets, or scrolling through your phone, take 15 minutes out each day to meditate, focusing on what you want from life instead of drowning in all those mind monkeys talking rubbish and feeding endless self doubt.
If you can begin the year by following these 2 simple suggestions and sticking with them, you can work your way through whatever else may be on your list, with the knowledge that you have begun making changes.
Begin sowing the seeds of self love and just watch your true beauty blossom.
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